The lost grandchild

Dear grandma and grandpa,
Would it shock you to know you didn't JUST give away your son? You have two granddaughters, and I've given you two wonderful great grand children you'll never lay eyes on....I've worried about you more than you'll ever know. I wonder if you need help, or if you ever wonder about my dad...or care at all. I think it's impossible that you just don't care about him. He had pneumonia when you left him....did you know that? He almost DIED....I bet he wishes you were holding him in his time of need. My little sister is asthmatic and has brittle bones....Is that from you? My hair is blonde....were you blonde? It had to have come from you....no one in my mothers family is blonde....my daughter has blonde hair as well... she's very pretty....I wish you could know her. I wish you would have thought more before you placed my father for adoption. You could have done it...it would have been hard, but you could have done it...I know you could have...I did at 16. I refused to give my daughter up for adoption after all the pain it's caused my father, me and my little sister. I bet I've got your nose. Maybe this is your strong jawline? Those giant big dark brown almost black eyes of my sisters.....are those yours? My little sister looks JUST like my dad. You'd live her...she's beautiful, smart and funny. My father has been a great dad, and he's an amazing grandfather. He's taught me how to fix cars from the moment I could hold a wrench. He's a master technician, and a great man. I wish you knew that. I wish you knew we were worth the fight....worth the struggle. I don't know why you chose to give him up....but I wish you had kept him. While he pretends he doesn't care...I know he does...all adopted children do. I forgive you, as I'm sure he does....but I wish you would have found him....I would have liked to have hold your hand and been there for you. I'd give ANYTHING to make you dinner, and help you with the dishes. It's a hard spot you've put us all in...and every future generation of this family...we are lost...forgotten...alienated. I can't regret my adopted grandparents....my grandmother was the greatest woman on earth....swore like a sailor, but lived with all her heart....but my grandfather was highly emotionally abusive towards her...if you could have heard the arguments....you'd know you made the wrong choice. She was Catholic, and divorce meant shaming herself and her whole family....so your son was raised in a warzone of a broken marriage. I suffered through a few of those arguments myself....I've never trusted men because of the tasty things I heard and saw. Regardless of all that...I love you. I would give anything to know you...to know where I come from. I miss you daily, and I never met you.

If you're reading this...and happen to be missing a son or brother that was born 3-1-1961 in new York...please contact me. We'd love to meet you.